My Journey so far…

I visualize my life as a river, with each experience serving as a tributary that shapes its course. As a child, my voice was but a whisper, lost in the currents of external expectations and the silent pain of childhood trauma and teenage bullying. These early years carved deep channels of depression, self-doubt, shame, anxiety, and self-harm, creating a turbulent flow that persisted into adulthood. I often felt like a vessel trapped in a whirlpool, overwhelmed by a victim mentality, feeling stuck and lost, not good enough and undeserving, and desperately wanting to run away from life.

At twenty, I experienced a profound awakening, a burst of flow that ignited my spiritual conscious living journey. There was peace, confidence and bliss, however, my twenties was a period that was soon met with stagnation, as a buildup of debris from the past—loss of home and childhood trauma—created painful blockages and hardness on self. I grappled with feelings of never being good enough, believing I didn’t deserve anything, and feeling as though I needed to be punished. This constant feeling of being lost and stuck, unsure of what I want in life or who I truly am, and the desire to escape to a quiet place, has been a recurring theme. Despite this, I have remained committed to practices that ground me: meditation, journaling, dancing, yoga, immersing myself in nature, and working with my chakra system and Reiki. It has felt like my life has been on a cycle of turbulent rapids and serene calm, repeating in an ongoing rhythm. I’ve often struggled with uncertainty, not knowing when I’ll find a steady flow and feel stable and content with who I am and where I am in life.

In my early thirties, the river began to change course. I made a decision to face my fears head-on, navigating through the rapids with newfound courage. I jumped out of a plane, went scuba diving, traveled through seven different countries in Africa, journeyed solo to Thailand, embraced veganism/vegetarianism, gave up nicotine and alcohol for a period, and explored the idea of starting my own business. As I moved into my late thirties, I launched my business, though it took a backseat to a deeper reflection on my relationship with myself. I learned to accept that being where I was, and focusing on personal growth, was not a waste but a vital part of my journey. My first step in the deeper reflection on my relationship with myself was learning to let go of early life trauma, anger, anxiety, grief, shame, sadness, and a feeling of not belonging anywhere. Through using my voice, movement, breath, gratitude, kindness, patience, journaling, meditation, and affirmation, I surrendered to the Universe and began to feel self-love, acceptance, and peace. Life started to flow more smoothly as I healed from emotionally abusive relationships with others and, more importantly, with myself. I found my voice and stability, reshaping the river’s flow into a stronger, more resilient me. By developing a healthier relationship with myself and others, I began to calm the turbulent waters of my nervous system and soothe the cells in my body and mind. My river now flows with a renewed sense of purpose and peace. Each bend and curve is a testament to resilience and growth, proving that even the most tumultuous waters can lead to a place of calm and strength. My ongoing journey reminds me that we all have the power to transform our rivers, who we are constantly changes just like a river, embracing the flow of life with grace and empowerment.

Now, my river is on a course that is honing in more to exploring safety, digestion and the feeling of wellness in my body, building self-worth, setting firm boundaries, exploring abundance, and continuing to love and accept myself. I am learning to shift the way I use my voice in different situations and fully embrace gratitude. Life has shifted into a phase of sacrifice, parallel to an oxbow of the river, where I work within my purpose but in an environment that feels extremely uncomfortable and unsafe. Despite feeling stuck and anxious, with my nervous system out of sync and a desire to return to my river’s path, I recognize that the oxbow is part of the river’s journey. This period is proving invaluable as it provides the financial support needed to fully dedicate myself to my business and shape its future direction with an amazing Spiritual Business Coach. It’s also assisting me in starting my own family and deepening my self-understanding, all while working with an Integrated Counselor to continue letting go of past challenges. I am excited for the next part of my river’s path - marriage, a big move overseas, and rebranding and living my purpose helping you step into your journey of building your self worth and embodying love, joy and connection with gratitude.

I believe that by embracing love, joy, gratitude, and connection, and by recognizing our own worth and deservingness, we nurture a fulfilling and balanced life.